i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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