Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
