so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
