I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
