I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize