She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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