All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
