two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
