there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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