I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
