Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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