So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
