I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
