I think my vagina is haunted
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
