I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
