My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
