Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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