ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I have feelings that need drinking.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
