I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize