You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
