i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
