I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm sobbing to NWA
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
