god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
