We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize