is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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