The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I would ride that face into the sunset
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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