I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she looked like the before picture.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
