Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
