wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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