i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Randomize
