Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
