NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Acid is not a monday night drug
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
