Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
