: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We need to rekindle our bromance
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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