its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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