I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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