I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
