God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
