Sponge bath it is.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
