if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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