Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Randomize
