I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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