put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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