Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
