Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize