I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
