ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize