Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
