pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
