so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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