You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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