HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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