Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
