Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
