things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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