im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize