She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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