I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Randomize
