i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
