Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
