The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
