So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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