y did u give ur computer a hand job?
where am i from again
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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