im having a threesome with these popsicles
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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