ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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