Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
